The State of Dave Welfare is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by the Governor with a fair hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, smutty television, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 31.454 billion Dave Welfareans are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Industry, Defense, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Spirituality aren't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 8.6%.

The thriving Dave Welfarean economy, worth a remarkable 1,123 trillion betales a year, is quite specialized and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with significant contributions from Gambling, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 35,733 betales, with the richest citizens earning 8.9 times as much as the poorest.

Euthanasia is illegal, heavy industry must go to expensive lengths to dispose of waste, the Governor has been known to threaten dissenting citizens with a machine gun at press conferences, and citizens are bombarded with advertising from their compulsory minature radios. Crime, especially youth-related, is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Dave Welfare's national animal is the deer, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Dave Welfare is ranked 261,412^th in the world and 7^th in Lesotho for Lowest Crime Rates, with 44.87 law-abiding acts per hour.