The United Sovereign States of Crusadam is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Head Steward Louis George Hapsburg with an even hand, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, aversion to nipples, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 1.599 billion Crusadamians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Constantinople. The average income tax rate is 68.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Crusadamian economy, worth 183 trillion Omniverse Bombs a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 114,526 Omniverse Bombs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

A National Academy regulates grammar and usage, orientation videos remind rookie female politicians that slaps on the bottom are perfectly acceptable forms of communication, the practice of capital punishment proves divisive, and the newest East Lebatuckese coins have "long live East Lebatuck" on heads and "death to Crusadam" on tails. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crusadam's national animal is the Omniverse Bomber, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is No offical-Majority Orthodox Catholic.

Crusadam is ranked 159,287^th in the world and 5,953^rd in The North Pacific for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides, with 2.32 Rich To Poor Income Ratio.