The Cʜıʟᴅʀєɴ of the Vᴀʟʟєʏs of Celtia Cymru is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by The Docтoʀ with a fair hand, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, smutty television, and national health service. The compassionate, democratic population of 8.477 billion Cʜıʟᴅʀєɴ of the Vᴀʟʟєʏs are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large government prioritizes Education, although Healthcare, Environment, and Industry are also considered important, while Defense and Spirituality receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cᴀєʀᴅʏᴅᴅ. The average income tax rate is 79.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Wєʟsʜ economy, worth a remarkable 1,020 trillion Uɴıvєʀsᴀʟ Cʀєᴅıтs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 120,419 Uɴıvєʀsᴀʟ Cʀєᴅıтs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Going on a diet invalidates your passport, healthcare workers are flummoxed over the spike in foreign tourists with sudden-onset heart disease, the Cᴀєʀᴅʏᴅᴅ XV Regiment (aka "The Goat Starers") have yet to win a battle, and the government burgles the houses of holidaying citizens. Crime is totally unknown. Celtia Cymru's national animal is the Mıɴoʀ, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Celtia Cymru is ranked 71,865^th in the world and 19^th in Zombie Research Institute for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 1,579.32 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.