The Matriarchy of Celinyca is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Celine The Weird with an even hand, and remarkable for its teetotalling pirates, keen interest in outer space, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cheerful, devout population of 20.767 billion Celina have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cap Au Diable. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 73.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Celina economy, worth a remarkable 3,754 trillion Royal Crowns a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Retail, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 180,784 Royal Crowns, with the richest citizens earning 9.4 times as much as the poorest.

Lawyers are ordering red ink and 'Cease and Desist' rubber stamps in preparation for the return of copyright law, crossword puzzles have been co-opted as a symbol of racial discrimination, nobody likes bad boys any more, and RPG fans reminisce fondly about when people thought they were evil and dangerous rather than geeky and socially inept. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celinyca's national animal is the Harvestman Spider, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Wicca.

Celinyca is ranked 30,711^th in the world and 1^st in Celinyca for Lowest Crime Rates, with 82.29 law-abiding acts per hour.