The Grand Duchy of Celaguun is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Qlililliagul with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and suspicion of poets. The hard-working, cynical population of 1.264 billion Celagians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Public Transport. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Celagia City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.8%.

The thriving Celaguunian economy, worth 86.2 trillion Solaris a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is 68,217 Solaris, with the richest citizens earning 8.9 times as much as the poorest.

No personal detail is too tiny for the suede-denim census police, the banhammer is a standard police sidearm, the government has swiped left on the whole internet, and young people crowd pizza parlors praying to 'The Supreme Pizza, His Immaculate Munchiness'. Crime is moderate, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Celaguun's national animal is the Kelpie, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Cult of Asriaja.

Celaguun is ranked 43,467^th in the world and 9^th in The Celestial Empire for Most Primitive, scoring 61.11 on the Scary Big Number Scale.