Population | 10.283 billion |
Capital | Zenstev |
Leader | Viktor Neinchev |
Faith | Neinchist Atheism |
Currency | Caban |
Animal | Wild Boar |
The United Socialist Federation of Cabanos is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Viktor Neinchev with an iron fist, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, pith helmet sales, and compulsory vegetarianism. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 10.283 billion Cabanosians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."
The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Administration, and Education are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zenstev. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.
The frighteningly efficient Cabanosian economy, worth a remarkable 3,210 trillion Cabans a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 312,169 Cabans, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.
Internet moderators work overtime to remove memes comparing Viktor Neinchev to cartoon bears, politicians sweat as journalists scour internet archives for any mention of them, in life full of care there is no time to stop and stare, and high-tech infantry rifles automatically reload when the soldier shoots outside the screen of their helmet HUD. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cabanos's national animal is the Wild Boar, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Neinchist Atheism.
Cabanos is ranked 84,510th in the world and 4th in Coalition of Sovereign Nations for Most Stationary, with 556.0785677206 days.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in Cabanos, high-tech infantry rifles automatically reload when the soldier shoots outside the screen of their helmet HUD.
- : Following new legislation in Cabanos, in life full of care there is no time to stop and stare.
- : Following new legislation in Cabanos, politicians sweat as journalists scour internet archives for any mention of them.
- : Following new legislation in Cabanos, internet moderators work overtime to remove memes comparing Viktor Neinchev to cartoon bears.
- : Following new legislation in Cabanos, the diplomatic corps tends to open negotiations by insulting all the foreigners in the room.
- : Following new legislation in Cabanos, naturists are jailed regularly for indecent exposure.
- : Following new legislation in Cabanos, birdsong in the mountains has to be loud enough to drown out nearby jackhammers.
- : Following new legislation in Cabanos, a massive campaign is underway to ensure the race of Cabanos remains pure.
- : Following new legislation in Cabanos, the new foreign policy is "why bother invading neighbours when they can be bought wholesale?".
- : Following new legislation in Cabanos, the restriction that you must be over 1.1 metres tall to ride a carnotaurus has recently been waived.