Largest Retail Industry: 1,056thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,514thLargest Black Market: 1,714th
The Federation of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Who said we couldn't make robotic ham?
Influence
Sprat
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Rare

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Bionic Ham

Population15.71 billion

Currencyham
Animalpig

The Federation of Bionic Ham is a gargantuan, orderly nation, notable for its public floggings, strictly enforced bedtime, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 15.71 billion Bionic Hamians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 70.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Bionic Hamian economy, worth a remarkable 3,077 trillion hams a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Retail, Soda Sales, Uranium Mining, and Gambling. Average income is an impressive 195,887 hams, with the richest citizens earning 6.7 times as much as the poorest.

The red star of communism has been replaced by the gold star of the McRonald's badge, politicians look weirdly alike, solving crossword puzzles requires fluency in at least five languages, and pausing for applause during a speech is seen as a form of censorship. Crime, especially youth-related, is almost non-existent, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bionic Ham's national animal is the pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Bionic Ham is ranked 8,031st in the world and 62nd in 10000 Islands for Most Stationary, with 2,625.18771571212 days.

Top
1%
Largest Retail Industry: 1,056thMost Corrupt Governments: 1,514thLargest Black Market: 1,714thMost Avoided: 1,792ndLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,007thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,227thMost Devout: 2,280thLargest Gambling Industry: 2,745thTop
5%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 3,345thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 3,488thFattest Citizens: 3,878thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4,371stMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,681stMost Subsidized Industry: 4,732ndRudest Citizens: 6,038thLargest Mining Sector: 6,753rdHighest Economic Output: 7,009thMost Advanced Public Education: 7,734thMost Stationary: 8,054thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 9,135thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 10,240thMost Efficient Economies: 10,598thHighest Average Incomes: 10,765thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 11,435thMost Influential: 11,671stTop
10%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 16,008thMost Conservative: 16,145thLargest Governments: 20,077thMost Patriotic: 23,245thLargest Populations: 24,729th
Top
5%
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 15th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 15th in the regionLargest Black Market: 15th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 18th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 21st in the regionMost Devout: 23rd in the regionMost Avoided: 23rd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 24th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 27th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 28th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 29th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 39th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 40th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 43rd in the regionMost Conservative: 44th in the regionTop
10%
Fattest Citizens: 49th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 49th in the regionMost Stationary: 62nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 76th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 82nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Bionic Ham, pausing for applause during a speech is seen as a form of censorship.
  • : Following new legislation in Bionic Ham, solving crossword puzzles requires fluency in at least five languages.
  • : Bionic Ham was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Gambling Industry and the Top 5% for Highest Wealthy Incomes.
  • : Following new legislation in Bionic Ham, politicians look weirdly alike.
  • : Following new legislation in Bionic Ham, the red star of communism has been replaced by the gold star of the McRonald's badge.
  • : Following new legislation in Bionic Ham, all writing must pass a censorship board before being allowed on the shelves.
  • : Following new legislation in Bionic Ham, the "war on terror" doesn't seem to be making Bionic Hamians any less frightened.
  • : Following new legislation in Bionic Ham, the lactose-intolerant are force-fed cheese products with predictably gassy results.
  • : Following new legislation in Bionic Ham, politicians bribe ten-year-old geniuses to sit their aptitude tests.
  • : Following new legislation in Bionic Ham, shanty towns of homeless immigrants are the ideal recruiting ground for terrorist organisations.

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