The Stereotypical Italian Regime of Ayytaly is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Mario Fonzie Balboa with an iron fist, and renowned for its parental licensing program, daily referendums, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.715 billion Paisanos are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Little Ayytaly. The average income tax rate is 94.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Paisano economy, worth a remarkable 1,690 trillion Guidoes a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 193,938 Guidoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Mario Fonzie Balboa's new android secretary is the latest media darling, the internal market is thriving, environmental legislation occurs cyclically, and burgers often list "miscellaneous meats" in their ingredients. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ayytaly's national animal is the Bambino, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Jersey Shore.

Ayytaly is ranked 9,934^th in the world and 570^th in Balder for Lowest Crime Rates, with 101.23 law-abiding acts per hour.