The United Provinces of Awesometonia is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Steve Jobs with a fair hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 2.634 billion Awesometonians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Munich. The average income tax rate is 56.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Awesometonian economy, worth 227 trillion oreos a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 86,395 oreos, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Male cubicle workers stand up every time a woman enters the room, signs of extraterrestrial life are just foreign astronauts evading Awesometonian justice, stolen Reuben sandwiches are met with detailed and thorough police investigations, and 100-year-old politicians are now a thing of the past. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Awesometonia's national animal is the tiger shark, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is All hail Apple.

Awesometonia is ranked 31,687^th in the world and 53^rd in Lands End for Healthiest Citizens, with 7.9 bananas ingested per day.