The Republic of Artevenia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by President Leonardi with an even hand, and notable for its flagrant waste-dumping, ubiquitous missile silos, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed population of 9.021 billion Artevenians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Darcania. The average income tax rate is 71.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Artevenian economy, worth a remarkable 1,454 trillion lire a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 161,268 lire, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Business leaders commend the government for enacting an emissions reduction strategy that reduces no Artevenian emissions at all, East Lebatuckese luxury goods are plundered by the working class of Artevenia, people reciting Shakespeare have become a common sight, and statues of famous citizens are erected or demolished on a purely partisan basis. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Artevenia's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Artevenia is ranked 8,744^th in the world and 16^th in Lands End for Smartest Citizens, with 98.66 quips per hour.